Monday, February 20, 2012

Impotence and premature ejaculation: Ten tips for saving marriage, 'Satisfying' your wife in the bed and misconceptions about sexual performance

Lack of qualified sexologists in India and Pakistan is one of the biggest health issues in the sub-continent. Owing to less contact between opposite sexes prior to marriage and the taboos surrounding sex, the issues get even more complicated.

As a result, even minor ailments are considered as 'Gupt Rog' or 'Khufia Jinsi Marz' that seem to have no solution. In earlier posts we posted herbal and natural ways to improve your sexual performance in the posts under 'Impotence', 'Sexual weakness' and 'Premature ejaculation'. Click here

Today we take you further. 

1. Don't ever think that premature ejaculation is too serious an issue. It affects most males. What makes it worse is when you feel that you are ill. The psychological 'defeat' turns a person into a 'loser', and he completely gets into depression. This further affects sexual performance.

2. Don't consider sex as a battle where you have to 'satisfy' the (apparently insatiable) woman. Seeing pornographic movies or blue films, youth often get impression that one has to continue intercourse for long, which is absurd.

3. Marriage is about love, and of course,sex. But it is not that she is a sex-kitten and you are supposed to be a stud, who has to do all sorts of bizarre acrobatics which you heard about from friends or read in magazines or (kama sutra positions).

4. A person may not come soon while masturbating, but it is possible that he discharges as soon as he comes in contact with the woman. (Isn't a skin just a skin?) Reason! It is sexual tension, the psychological pressure to perform and getting over excited. 

5. Try to understand each others' bodies. There is no need to rush into things. Once you are comfortable with nudity and see each other quite naked, be in the partner's arms for long, you will steadily gain control and won't feel so excited. 

6. 'Squeeze' technique to press penis glans (for delaying ejaculation) could be used though all people aren't able to master it. If it helps you, go ahead, else don't put in extra effort. [Stop and Squeeze technique is well-known and could be found on internet easily]

7. If getting you wife orgasm is the ultimate criterion for you to 'win' this battle, this can be accomplished without using your organ. You can do it with your hand or even better with your mouth. She would probably love it, more. 

8. Clitoral stimulation generally gets women aroused more and brings them to orgasm than penetration. This doesn't need any penile contact, as clitoris is located outside the vagina.

9. There are other ways also if you insist on vaginal intercourse longer. You can use creams that desensitize penis, and thus increase the 'time period' (as commonly referred to in India, Pakistan). You may be able to hold ejaculation for more time. 

10. Training your mind to think about something that shocks you, makes you sad, or something holy, may do the trick when you are about to discharge. Else you can pinch yourself really hard anywhere in the body, and this will decrease your excitation level.

There are many other tricks and tips to keep your wife happy in the bed. In India, the 'Suhag Raat' or 'Shab-e-Uroosi' has been glamorised in such a manner through cheap Bollywood Hindi movies that it puts undue pressure on young couples.

Neither your wife is a ringmaster, nor you a 'circus tiger' who has to perform his best in the ring. Just be your natural self. Think yourself as adequately endowed. Have a feeling that its lovemaking, not about scoring, winning or losing. 

Things will definitely improve. But one last advice. If there is a real issue, go and consult a proper 'sexologist'. If you don't have one in your city, go to a qualified doctor--your family doctor or a good medical practitioner. But never go to the self-styled 'Gupt Rog Chikitsak' who offer 'Jinsi Amraz ka Ilaaj' or 'Mardana Kamzori' treatments using the 'Powerful capsules' advertised in newspapers.

All earlier posts on similar ailments and diseases can be read: Click here